


Was he really paying 100 bucks an hour for this?

by Frnk



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Age Difference, Body Dysphoria, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Gerard Way is a Sweetheart, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Nipple Play, No Sex, Running Away, Secret Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Therapy, Time Skips, Trans Frank Iero, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:02:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15376305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frnk/pseuds/Frnk
Summary: "So..Frank. What would you like to talk about?""I don't know. Is it not your job to tell me why i'm fucked up?"Frank couldn't believe he was paying 100 bucks an hour for this. His therapist was around his age, which just made it fucking worse.





	Was he really paying 100 bucks an hour for this?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Kudos &comments keep me writing! <3

"So..Frank. What would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know. Is it not your job to tell me why i'm fucked up?"

Frank couldn't believe he was paying 100 bucks an hour for this. His therapist was around his age, which just made it fucking worse.

"You aren't fucked up. Now, shall we start with your struggle with gender-"

"I didn't struggle. I knew. I'm a man."

"When did you realise?"

Frank puck at his jeans, tugging the strings as he tried to remember.

"I was 13 when I found out what transgender was. I always knew. I just thought I was insane."

"And did you struggle with your sexuality?"

"Wow. Straight into the deep stuff, doc."Frank sighed. Gerard chuckled softly and scribbled in his book. Frank already hated thay fucking book. 

"I like dudes."

"So you're gay."

Frank nodded and pushed himself up to refill his coffee mug. 

"How did you parents react?"

"Ma. Single mom. She was cool, the mom at every gay pride parade."

"Thats good. I'm glad."

-

Frank hated this place. Month 3 and Frank was insane. Gerard barely fucking helped. Atleast his insurance was covering it now. Sometimes he looked forward to it, so alone in that shitty apartment that it hurt, lile hell he would ever admit that to him.

"Morning, Gerard."

"Morning, Frank. Fresh pot of coffee there."

Frank filled a mug and sat down, ducking his head as his stomach growled.

"You don't eat before the meetings. Why is that?"

"I don't like breakfast food. Sick of eggs."

Gerard frowned and nodded, leaning forward to grab his own mug.

"So eat lunch food."

Frank looked up from his pockets, frowning.

"What?"

"Have a pb&j for breakfast. Or even a slice of pizza. It doesn't have to be traditional breakfast food."

Frank sucked his lip and shrugged. Hell, why didn't he think of that?

"I start my day with coffee and cold pizza. Why? Habit mainly. But if my body is hungry, it needs fuel. I need to eat to survive and be heathy."

"Mom use to go crazy when I ate pizza for breakfast."

"You're 29, Frank. Your mother doesn't care what you eat for breakfast now. Only that you do infact eat."

"But..what if I get fat?"

"You've come in work out gear more than once. You like to work out?"

"Like to run."Frank admitted.

"I can just turn everything off and focus on my feet hitting gravel."

"So you need the fuel. Your body will burn it off. Tomorrow morning, wake up and make whatever you want. Eat it."

"I..okay."Frank nodded and tugged at his sleeves.

"Anything else new?"

"I'm trying to afford a new binder. Mines is washed out and doesn't work well."

-

Frank pouted at the box of his usual chair and back to Gerard.

"Whats this?"

"Open it."

Frank frowned and tore off the tape, gasping at the thin binder. The quality was unbelievable. 

"What?"

"You need a binder. You got one."

"But how?"

"Doesn't matter how. Have you ate?"

"Yeah. I had some left over chinese."

"Rad. Its always better the next day."Gerard grinned and pushed himself up. Frank caught sight of doodles in his notebook and snorted.

"Thats what you do?"

"Sometimes. Thats a secret."Gerard blushed and passed Frank a mug.

"Secrets safe with me, batman."

 Gerard laughed and grabbed his phone, scratching his jaw as he typed away until music filled his ears.

"Oh man! Yes!"

"I know you hate the awkward silences so I got my brother to help me download shit. Misfits good?"

"So good man. Thank you. Damn, this is a good meeting already."

"Frank. Are you looking for surgery?"

"What?" Frank frowned. 

"I don't specialise on gender studies. I can't sign off-"

"I'm not looking for that. I just want to be happy."

"What makes you happy?"

Frank shrugged. 

"Dogs. I love dogs."

"And do you have one?"

"No. My apartment doesnt allow them."

"So why don't you move? Wouldn't a dog be fun? They could go on your runs with you."

"Its not that simple-"

"Ah but it is. You can afford it. I know you can. Nothings stopping you only yourself."

-

Frank moved out the following week into a bigger apartment that allowed pets, the rent was the same but it was an extra 20 minutes to work and to Gerards office. The moment he walked into the dog shelter he knew it was worth it. 

He was doing his month shop when he spotted a familar face, frowning when he couldn't place it until the hazel eyes looked up from the back of a can.

"You dyed your hair."

"I did! Hi Frank."

"Hey. Its nice. Really."

"Thank you. Oh, did Sandra phone you?"

"Yeah. Meetings cancelled."Frank nodded. Gerard offered him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. I over booked and its completely my fault."

"Don't worry about it, its all good. I got a dog."

"Oh yeah?!"Gerard grinned.

"Shes ugly and silly but I love her already."

"Good. It'll help, Frank. She'll be good. Bring her next meeting?"

"You gonna diagnoise my dog?"Frank snorted. Gerard laughed and shook his head.

"See you next week, Frank."

-

Frank realised he had a crush a year into his therapy sessions. He was waiting for Gerard to call him in when the thought settled in his brain. He couldn't be that person, no. Gerard was helping him, he was funny and sweet and Gerard knew everything about him. He couldn't fuck this up already.

"Frankie?"

Frank pushed himself up and headed into the office, Gerard passing him a coffee mug and turning on the CD player quietly. 

"So whats new?'

"Nothing."

"Hows sweetpea?"

"Fine."

Gerard pouted and looked up from his book, watching Frank chew on his hoodie sleeve.

"Have you been taking your medication?"

"Yeah."

"And you ate this morning?"

"Yes."

"Tell me whats on your mind."

"I don't think we should do this anymore."

Gerard looked up and frowned. He set down his book and leaned forward in his chair, the fire red hair hanging in his face.

"I understand that you're improving, but I think for the time being it would be best-"

"No. I'll go. I just need uh..someone else."

Gerard frowned deeper and nodded.

"If thats what you'd prefare, Frank. May I ask why?"

"No. Will my insurance carry over?"

"Yes. I can rush it through."

"Thanks."Frank nodded, ignoring Gerard frowning at him.

"I thought we got on well. Have I made you uncomfortable in any way?"

"No."Frank sighed. God he was an asshole.

-

Frank started his new therapist a week after, she sucked. She didn't understand him and he felt like shit the entire time, it felt like he was running backwards as he under the bridge with a vodka bottle. God, he was totally this sad, wasn't he? The moment his brain shouted  _jump_ he was pulling out his phone, sobbing as he found the number and pressed ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Gerard."Frank sniffed. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and forced himself to look up at the sky. 

"Hi, Frank. Whats wrong?"

"Can..I feel like i'm gonna do something dumb."Frank admitted.

"Where are you? I'll come get you."

"The park over by maple. With the bridge."

"I can be there in 10 minutes. Stay on the phone with me, alright? I'm on my way. You aren't alone. Whats got you feeling like this?"

"I am alone. So fucking alone."Frank sobbed. He fisted a hand in his hair and tugged, whining at the relief.

"Why do you think that?"

"Cause I am. Paula sucks. I'm sorry but she sucks. She doesn't let me play music!"

"Yeah. We aren't suppose to, not your sort of music anyway. What else?"

"She doesn't understand! Why do you?"

"Understand?"

"Yeah."

"I grew up in a strict household gay. I was suicidal and a drug addict. I..I've been through most of what you have. When I was 15, I got held at gunpoint. I realised I didn't care if I lived."

"And you got better?"

"Not always. But medication and understanding the brain helped. I'm 7 years sober."

"I'm drinking right now. I'm sorry."Frank cried. Gerard chuckled softly.

"I don't mind. You know alcohol is a depressive? It puts you down."

"I needed..something. something to make me feel."

"Speaking to the choir, Frank. I can teach you heathy alternatives."

"Teach me to get better."

"I was, Frank. Where about are you?"

"Under the bridge."

"Okay. Don't move. I'll be 60 seconds. Count for me alright? Gonna hang up. Do it loud."

Frank closed his eyes and counted loudly, focusing on the word leaving his mouth until a hand touched his arm.

"Hey, you changed your hair! I like it!"

"Thank you."Frank sniffed and moved to let Gerard sit next to him

"First things first."Gerard took the vodka bottle and emtied it out, making Frank whine.

"Tell me whats been happening."

 "I had a fight with my mom."

"Yeah?"

"She thinks its time to go back to work. I'm not ready. Mark can run things."

"It might be good. Something to focus on. Art is an amazing outlet."

"Yeah but..people."

"What else Frankie? Why did you quit our sessions?"

"I..I have a crush on you."Frank admitted. 

"Crushes are normal. Harmless."

"Okay but I think its more i'm in love with you than a crush. I didn't want to be that guy."

"You aren't that guy. You wouldn't force anything."

"I know. I fell for a guy i'm paying to listen to me. Jesus."

"You aren't paying right now. We're more than the office, I count you as a close friend. You listen to me just as much as I listen to you."

"Its weird though. You probably feel super awkward-"

"No. I don't. Promise. I do think its wise you see someone else professionally, but that doesn't mean we can't hang out as friends."

"See? You're creeped out."

"Its more that i'm really not creeped out. Like really really not creeped out."

"Thats confusing."Frank mumbled. Gerard chuckled and nodded.

"Hows sweetpea?"

"Hates me. Don't have the energy to run."

"So walk. Or drive to the dog park and let her run wild."

"People don't like that-"

"Fuck people. Its a dog park. She wouldn't hurt a fly."

-

"Hi baby. Oh hi gorgeous."Gerard cooed. Frank snorted and filled the coffee filter and watched him kiss sweetpeas head. 

"How long have you been qualified for?"

"6 years. I love it."

"Thats good. What age are you anyway?"

"I'm 35. After high school I went to study art. Then shit happened and i got myself clean and chose to help people."

"Thats impressive."Frank passed him a mug and sighed quietly.

"I thought tattooing was the way to go. I mean I love it. I love my shop and making people happy but.."

"It doesn't get you up in the morning."Gerard hummed. Frank nodded and sighed.

"So play guitar. Be a performer."

"Thats not easy."

"Nothing is easy, Frankie. Change out of your binder, please."

"What? No-"

"Youve been wearing it all day havent you? Its 3 am. Time to take it off."

Frank sighed and headed into his room to change, pulling on his biggest hoodie and staring at the reflection.

"Don't stare?"

"Wouldn't even think about it. What happened today? What set you off that you felt so tempted you thought of suicide?"

"Its dumb-"

"Its not. Nothing is dumb."Gerard smiled. Frank leaned against the counter and puck at his nails.

"Sweetpea was barking to get out and I shouted at her. Then I burnt my frozen pizza. Then I couldn't get the cap of my pills."

"You hold everything in, Frank. Then you snap. Its unheathy and dangerous."Gerard frowned. Frank shrugged.

"I don't like her. She doesn't understand."

"Well change therapists."

"My insurance will throw a fit."

Gerard sighed softly and nodded.

"I'm glad you called me, Frank. You deserve to be here. You love Halloween, its right around the cornor now. Stay strong and I will personally take you to New York and we can grab some food and watch the parade."

"And the fireworks?"Frank whispered. Gerard grinned and nodded.

"You think you can do that for me?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. I better go, tomorrow drive to the dog park, take your book and let her run, alright?"

Frank nodded and set down his mug, rubbing his eyes roughly.

"Thank you for uh coming."

"I always will. Go to sleep. Everythings better after a full night sleep."Gerard promised, reaching out to squeeze Franks wrist gently.

-

Over the next week, Gerard text him every morning, usually just a 'good morning! Get moving ❤ ' or a 'hey! Feed your tummy not just Sweetpeas!' Frank found himself starting the day with a smile every morning, which did a hell of a lot for his mental heath.

"Hey, G."Frank grinned as he slid into the chair across from Gerard.

"Hey! Coffees ordered, dude. Thanks for meeting me!"

"Ofcourse. No work today?"

"I do. Later on though, got cancelled on. You have your session later?"

"Yeah."Frank sighed and grabbed the menu. 

"What are we feeling today? No pizza?"Frank grinned. Gerard laughed and shrugged.

"Usually i order one at night. Last night I went to my brothers for dinner so no pizza."

"I get you. Wanna split one?"

"Will they serve at 11am?"

"Worth a shot. Have a good night yesterday?"

"Oh yeah. Kicked Mikeys ass on xbox as usual."

Frank grinned and nodded, glancing out the window. It was raining.

"How are you Frank?"

"Better. Your texts help."

"Good. I enjoy sending them! An empty house gets lonely."

"Oh man. Your telling me. I can go days without speaking to anyone other than my dog."

"So..two lonely assholes stuck at home. What are you doing tonight?"

"The same I do every night. Watch some reruns and wait until I pass out."

"Do you want to go to the movies instead?"

"I..yeah. that sounds awesome, I haven't been in years."

"Awesome. I'll go order our pizza. Cheese and veg?"

"Sounds good."

 -

Frank was in such a good mood. Aftee therapy he took Sweetpea for a run and managed to break his record by 3 whole minutes! Then knowing Gerard was gonna pick him up in minutes just added to ghe good mood. He showered quickly and dressed as nice as his clothes would allow him (its been a while since landry day.) By 6.20, he was ready to cry. Gerard was 20 minutes late with no text, so Frank assumed he had a better offer. He curled up on his side and focused on the movie on TV, refusing to cry. He was half asleep when the doorbell rang, automatically moving to open it.

"I'm an hour late and an asshole. Work ran so behind and-"

"You turned up."Frank whispered

"Yeah, I always will. Maybe not on time because shit I'm always late. I'm sorry, you must have been over thinking and-"

"Its okay. I promise its okay."

"Are you sure? You want to skip the movie?"

"No. Unless you do? I'm still game."

"Lets go. Again, i'm sorry."

Frank waved him off and grabbed his wallet and keys before shutting the door. 

"You thought i wouldn't come."

"Yeah."Frank admitted. Gerard pouted and stabbed the elevator button.

"I always will, okay? If I tell you i'm coming I will be there."

"Eventually."Frank winked. Gerard snorted and nodded.

-

"That movie was dumb. Soooo dumb."Frank snorted. Gerard grinned in agreement, reaching out to open Franks door handle.

"Such a gentleman."

"I do try."Gerard joked, hand covering his heart. Frank grinned and got in, heart beating in his chest. Was this a date? Probably not. Would Frank count it as one? Hell yeah.

"So..hungry?"

"Not really. Wanna walk? We can go by the park, theres a festival on."

"Really? Sounds good, Frankie."

Finding a parking space was horrible, eventually parking two blocks away and walking it. Frank grabbed two candy floss and passed one to Gerard.

"Man. Should i go blue?"

Frank laughed at the floss against Gerards hair, nodding. 

"Or what about a mustache?"Frank offered, tearing a piece off to hold over Gerards lip.

"Oh yeah. Hot."Frank grinned. Gerard snorted and opened his mouth for Frank to shove it in. Frank laughed as Gerard bit his finger lightly, pulling away to wipe it on Gerards coat.

"Gross."

"Totally."Gerard grinned and bumped their shouldets together.

"Oh man. We have a ferris wheel and I didn't know?!"

"Yeah. Its been here for like two weeks, dude."

"Shows how much I leave the apartment."Gerard snorted and tuggrd Frank over, paying the 6 bucks.

"You're not scared of heights, right?"

"Bit late asking that, Gee."Frank grinned as he sat down and the door locked.

"But nah. I'm good."

Gerard grinned and gripped onto the railings at it moved.

"Are you scared of heights?"

"No. Just realised how like small this little box is."

"But theres windows all around. We actually got a fancy one this year, last year all it had was a bar holding us in. Now we got a little room!"

"Oh man. Did you go on it?"

"Nah. Felt weird to go alone."Frank admitted as it started moving again, this time it didn't stop and Frank watched the lights out the window and down below, to the happy couples and familys.

"God, its beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah."Gerard whispered. Frank glanced over at him, lips parting when he realised Gerard was watching him. 

"Gee?"

"Hmm?"

Frank moved closer, placing his hand over Gerards.

"Okay?"

"So okay."Gerard whispered, turning his hand up to lace their fingers together. Frank grinned and turned back to watch the buildings get further away. 

-

"I can't believe you won me a puppy teddy! I love it!"

"Good."Gerard grinned and parked infront of Franks apartment block. 

"I forgot to ask, how was your session?"

"Shit. I'm gonna change, i gotta go to the office and see."

"Kyle is good. He specialises in genders-"

"No. I don't..need that shoved down my throat every minute. I'm not depressed because i'm trans-"

"I didn't mean that, Frankie. You know I didn't."

"I know. I'll find someone. Regret letting you go."

"If you didn't professionally, we couĺdn't hang normally. And tonights been amazing."

"It really has. We should do it again soon."

"Friday?"

"Friday sounds good. And let me know if you've any free mornings? We can grab breakfast."

"Sounds good Frankie. Drink some water and go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay. Text me in the morning?"

"Always."

Frank got out of the car and grinned when Gerard waited for him to get inside to drive off.

-

"You aren't picking the movie again. Like ever. That sucked!"

"I know. I suck."Gerard grinned. Frank laughed and tugged his sleeve over to the claw machines, pushing a dollar in.

"Oh! Go for the batman!"

"Hes in a bad position-"Gerard came up behind him and pur his hand over Franks, thumb pressing the button as Frank froze. He could smell the cherry cola he was that close.

"Position is everything."Gerard whispered. Frank whined quietly, feeling Gerard press closer as he pressed the button. Frank watched in amazement as it actually grabbed on, not releasing until it was over the prize shoot. Gerard grinned and grabbed it, holding it out to Frank.

"You good?"

"You..yeah."Frank swallowed and took the teddy, bending it in his hand lightly. 

As soon as Frank got home, his hand was in his pants before he even locked the door, the words  _position is everything_ rattling through his head. 

-

'Good morning! Special delievery outside your door! Enjoy ❤'

Frank forced himself to ger up and open the door, gasping at the pizza box, starbucks cup and a bunch of white roses. Gerard had even left a bone for Sweetpea and god, Frank was screwed. He carried everything into the kitchen before tugging out his phone. 

_what did i do to deserve this? I love it. You're the sweetest._

Frank ate two slives before shoving the leftovers in the fridge and lighting a cigaretre as he stared at the roses.

'You deserve it for being you. Have a good day, Frankie. Visiting mom! Wish me luck.'

Frank wished him luck, grinning into the coffee as he let the butrerflys fill his stomach.

-

"This is weird."Frank sat down in Gerards office, toeing off his boots tocpull his legs against his chest.

"Its just until we can fit you in with someone else. Not weird. Just..be like before. How are you today?"

"I'm okay. I feel less..like tight? Like i can breath again. Its been a while since I felt like that."

"Thats good. Why do you think that is?"

"I like..leave the house more often? I'm less alone."

Gerard hummed and got up to pour Frank a coffee, passing it over before turning on the music low.

"Any suicidal thoughts? Thoughts of self harm?"

"None in a couple weeks. I feel better. Like i'm getting somewhere. Sweetpea and I go running again. I like to zone out."

"And you're eating?"

"Normally most days, yeah."

"What about work? How do you feel about that?"

"Scared."Frank admitted.

"I'm scared i'll be so distracted i'll fuck up someones piece. I'm scared i'm not needed anymore-"

"Its your shop, Frank. A very good one. My brother has an appointment booked this week."

"Yeah? Whats he getting?"

"A spider. Pretty cool. Lines are ragged and crooked. You should take him on."

"I'll fuck it up-"

"I trust you. If a line isn't right, get someone else to touch him up. Mikeys easy going."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

-

"I'm not staying. Needles suck. You good?"

Frank nodded and tore of his gloves, motioning Mikey over to the chair.

"All black, right?"

"Right dude. Just fonna put my earphones in, that cool?"

Frank nodded and put on his gloves as he sat down, showing Mikey the stencil and waiting for the nod. He took a deep breath as he adjusted the gun and focused on the lines infront of his face. 

-

"I love it! Man, man this is so much better than I thought! Look at it Gee!"

"Wow. Thats awesome."Gerard grinned. Frank scratched his neck and waited for Gerard to finish looking at it.

"You are so talented."Getard said. 

"Thank you."Frank whispered, taking the 200 bucks and sliding it in the till. Gerard squeezed his wrist lightly.

"Thanks again! I'm gonna smoke."

"Anytime."Frank smiled. 

"I am so proud of you. How'd it feel?"

"Good. Glad I haven't lost the touch."

"Nah. You are so talented. You busy?"

"Saturdays are good for walk ins. I'm gonna wait and see."Frank smiled. Gerard grinned and nodded, hair falling into his eyes.

"I'll text you later?"

"Yeah. Thanks for..everything."

"Anytime, Frankie. Catch ya later!"

-

On Wednesday Frank gave in and dialed Gerards number.

"We haven't hung out in like nearly two weeks. I miss it. Busy tonight? We can stay in and order food?"

"Week and a half, nerd. But nah. I should be finished by 6. I'll defiently be there okay? Maybe not at 6 but hopefully not long after. Take Sweetpea for a run and eat okay?"

"Okay. Have fun at work, Gee."

-

"Oh man. Did we just watch three of the back to future movies? It's like 3 am."Gerard whined. Frank laughed and turned off the TV, stretching his arms up above his head. 

"So much better than some shitty movie though."

"Damn right. And refills of popcorn? Rad."

Frank grinned and turned to face him, pushing his toes under Gerards thigh.

"How are you going to work tomorrow?"

"I might die. But its worth it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You've got a really beautiful smile Frankie."

Frank ducked his head and grinned into his lap, 

"Seriously. You should always be smiling. It lights up the room."

"Shut up."

Gerard laughed and pushed himself up, stretching. Frank tried not to stare at the hair under his belly button.

"You wanna crash here? I know you're like half an hour away."Frank offered.

"If I stay, I wouldn't leave in the morning."Gerard smiled. Frank offered his hand, tugging when Gerard took it until he was sat down again. Frank let himself curl into his side and close his eyes at the fingers running up his back.

"Stay?"

"Okay."Gerard whispered. Frank sighed happily and pressed closer as Gerard moved until he was lying down with Frank pressed against his side. He pulled the blankets over them before wrapping his arms around Franks waist.

-

"Ah fuck. How early is your alarm? Turn it off."Frank whined into Gerards neck, sighing when it turned off. Gerard touched his hip lightly, 

"I have to go."

"Stay."Frank whispered. Gerard laughed and squeezed his hip.

"Cool if i use your shower?"

"Yeah Gee. Clean towels in there."

Gerard slid out from under him, letting Frank curl onto his side. 

"Hey. Sweetheart?"

Frank blinked his eyes open to Gerard kneeling next to him. 

"I gotta go-"

"Was gonna make you coffee."

"Don't worry about it. I'll text you okay? Stay. Don't get up."

Frank whined as Gerard grinned, leaning forward to kiss Franks forehead and shut him up. 

"Is it okay if I do that?"

Frank nodded and closed his eyes again, letting Gerard do it again.

"Don't sleep all day, okay? Take sweetpea for a walk. Its Sunny."

"Kay. Have a good day."

"You too, Frankie."

-

"Still noone else for me, doc?"

"Don't call me that, nerd. And nope not yet. Why? Sick of me?"

"Obviously. Seen you like 3 hours ago for breakfast, which by the way we are never splitting the hashbrowns again. You let me eat them all and now I wanna puke."

"Yeah yeah, blame me! So, whats new Frankie? How are you?"

"I'm good."

"And your relationship with your mom?"

"I'm getting there. I've been meaning to visit."

"You should. You love your mom. Anything else new?"

"Theres this guy."Frank started. Gerard didn't glance up from his notebook as he hummed. 

"I think he thinks i'm to fragile for him to try anything. Even though I'm pretty sure i'm in love with him."

"Maybe he wants to take it slow. Maybe hes fragile too, Frankie."

"I'm not going to hurt him."

"He's not scared of being hurt. He's scared of relapsing. Relationships are complicated. Maybe hes had a bad expierence."

"Yeah? What sort do you think?"

"Before I got sober..I was in an abusive relationship. Haven't been in one since. Never seemed nessarary."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm good now, its just..its easier to ease into this. Especially when we're still finding you someone suitable. Its not time right now, Frankie. For both of us."

"I shouldn't have brought it up-"

"Its good you did. You trust me enough to confide in me about this. And I trust you so I can tell you the truth. Its how this works, Frankie."

 -

"Pizza or chinese?"Gerard frowned as he held the take out menu, Frank looked up from Sweetpea and snorted.

"You're right. Both. Usual?"

"Yeah G."

Frank turned back to the TV and tried to find a movie, sticking it on a rerun of Friends when there was nothing else. 

"How was the rest of your week, Frankie?"

"Good. Got someone else in Therapy. Whats he like?"

"Oh! Yeah i passed over the notes this morning. Hes good."

"What do the notes say?"

Gerard sighed and sat down, tugging Frank in by an arm around his shoulder.

"You shouldn't-"

"Tell me. I'm the patient. I have a right to know."

"You know it all, Frankie. Just what you've been diagnoised with."

"But you pointed out I have improved right? I've worked so hard-"

"Yes love. I've wrote youve improved and your medicine is finally in the right balance."

Frank hummed and focused on the TV infront of him, ignoring Gerards fingers tracing his arms.

"Come on, Frankie. You are more than the labels, you're my sweet boy."Gerard kissed his temple, grinning when Frank giggled.

"I'm 30 being called cute. Rad."

"So rad. You are cute. Very cute. Look at that little smile ahh."

Frank pushed Gerards hand away, laughing as he tickled him.

"I surrender!"Frank laughed, moving onto his back to try push him away, Gerard just followed, grinning as Frank laughed 

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Gee!"

"I love your laugh."

Frank batted his hands away and curled in on himself, grinning at Gerards dumb smile over him. 

"You're gorgeous, Frankie."

Frank covered his face, but let Gerard pull his hands away and move between his legs. Frank stuck out his tongue, grinning at Gerards laugh before hooking a hand behind Gerards neck and meeting him half way, lips meeting half way. Gerard whimpered and gave in, moving his lips against Franks as a hand snaked over Franks neck, thumb resting over his throat. Frank pulled away when the door bell rang, laughing into Gerards neck.

"We're teenagers, oh my god."

"You're a nerd. Food!"Gerard pushed himself up, leaving Frank to stare after him with butterflys in his stomach. 

-

"Stay?"

"Work-"

"Stay. Please? I'm gonna go to work too."

"Okay, Frankie. Come here."

Frank set down the cold chinede and moved to curl up into his side, grinning sleeply as he Gerard stroked his back.

"We kissed."

"Really?"Gerard mumbled. Frank giggled and leaned up to kiss him once.

"Why are we on the couch? I have a perfectly comfy bed like 10 steps away."

"Like 20 steps. Carry me?"

Frank laughed and shook his head, nuzzling in deeper before pushing himself up. 

"I'm gonna change, give me a 5 minute head start?"

"Okay, love."

Frank went in and changed into his pyjamas before climbing into bed, grinning when Gerard yawned sleepily from the door way.

"You got some pants I could borrow?"

"None that would fit you, Gee. Boxers are okay."Frank turned onto his front, waiting until the blankets shifted to relax.

"Alarm set?"

"Yeah."

Frank nussled in, throwing an arm over Gerards waist sleepily.

-

"Do you have a partner?"

Frank hated Kyle already.

"Yup. Nope I don't wanna talk about him."

"Oh but-"

"Nope."Frank scratched his knee and waited, watching Kyle frown into his book.

-

"I hate him. Hes an asshole."Frank sighed as he watched Gerard cook, Frank was actually in Gerards house and he felt a little insane for it. 

"Asking about a partner is normal."

"You didn't."

"You told me you were a virgin three meetings in. I didn't have to."

Frank grunted and lay down on the island, letting his feet hang of the edge.

"He just.."

"You can't compare him to me. I knew you for a year, seeing you twice a week. Give him time."

"No. I want you back."

"You have me, i'm right here. But you need to see someone professionally too."

"When did you firgure me out?"

"You're hard to read. I realised your crush on month 6-"

"Fuck you."

Gerard laughed and ducked down to kiss Frank gently.

"Give him a chance, Frankie theres noone else."

"Fine. What point do I have to start paying you?"Frank joked. Gerard snorted and leaned down to kiss his temple.

-

"Where did the binder come from?"

"What?"

Frank set it down against the couch and sat down, digging his toes into Gwrards thigh.

"The binder."

"Oh! The internet. Man I had to guess sizes, totally sucked."

"Did..did you buy it?"

"Well, yeah. I knew you were struggling to get the money. Do you want to watch-"

Frank tugged Gerard down until he fitted against his side, sliding a hand into Gerards hair as he kissed him. It didn't take long before Gerards tongue was licking his lip, needing more than just their usual kisses. Frank opened for him and whimpered aat the Cherry Coke, moving his hand to hold Gerards neck as he tilted his head a little more. Frank moved to touch Gerards side, pushing his fingers up the shirt, stroking the skin lightly. Frank whined when Gerard pulled back, looking at him with sad eyes.

"Is this okay?"

"Gee, i'm not some teenager. Everythings okay. Please kiss me?"

Frank moaned at the rough kiss, licking into it as he dug his fingers into Gerards side. It didn't take long before a hand was snaking up his hoodie, soft finger tips moving up his hips. Frank let him explore, stomach flipping when his thumb brushes over Franks nipple. He arched into it automatically, breaking the kiss fo pant and press his forehead against Gerards chin. He moaned when Gerard pinched and kissed his forehead. 

"So gorgeous, Frankie."

Frank whined and arched into the touch, 

"Can i take it off sweetheart? So i can touch you properly?"

"Turn off the light?"

Gerard hummed and pushed himself up, Frank did try to ignore the bulge in the front of Gerards jeans, he sat up to tug it off, ignoring Gerards eyes glancing over him as he pulled off his own. 

"God you're beautiful"Gerard pushed him back om the sofa, hands rested on Franks back as he joined their lips again.

"I love you."

"Fuck. Fuck I love you too Frankie."

Gerard pressed kisses down his jaw to his breast, tongue brushing the nipple as Frank whimpered and his back arched. He brushed his teeth against it before sucking it in as Frank fisted his hair. Gerard pulled back a minute later, cupping Franks neck as they kissed again.

"Baby?"

"M."Frank mumbled. 

"We should stop. Its too soon."

Frank sucked his lip and nodded, tucking some hair behind Gerards ear.

"God, you're so gorgeous Frankie. So fucking gorgeous. I love everything about you."

"Yeah? I can feel it against my hip."

Gerard laughed and kissed him again, long and slow before pulling apart.

"I'm gonna be a kid again and hide out in the bathroom."

"Kay. But i'm totally getting off in your bed-"

Frank grinned as Gerards whimpered, rolling off the couch and heading into the bedroom, feeling his eyes on him the entire way.

-

"Whats your biggest secret?"

"Killed a man just to watch him die."Frank fiddled with his guitar, grinning at Gerards snort.

"I'm currenrly breaking the law by dating my therapist-"

"I'm not anymore. Only half breaking that rule. But seriously?"

Frank looked up at hummed. 

"Once got so high in college, I flashed the Dean. Got arrested."

"How..like..what?"

"Yeah. I dunno, drugs and alcohol. You?"

"Sometimes i think about running away. Like the UK? Move their and paint. Make Art."

"Yeah? Well if you ever need to run, take me with you."

"You got it, love."Gerard bent down to kiss Franks head.

"And if you ever feel like flashing someone, please let it be me?"

-

"We meet again, doc."

"Hey, Frankie. Sorry abour the short notice i've been picking up his Kyles appoitments all day. How are you?"

"I woke up..like off? Like someones missing or wrong and its just threw the entire day off."

"Did you do anything differently then every other morning?"

"Nope. Tried to go for a run and didn't make it out of the building. Sometimes I feel like i'm stuck. You know? One foot is in happy, the others in depression."

 "Depression never fully goes away, Frank."

"You mean i'll always feel like this?"Frank deflated. Gerard sighed and set his book down.

"Come here, love."

Frank moved over to Gerards lap, curling in on himself as Gerard stroked his back.

"You're getting better. You've improved so much since I met you, love. You're getting there."

"I want to be better."

"You will be-"

"Mr. Way-"The door opened as Frank pushed himself off his lap, staring at the frowning man.

"My office. Now."

"Gerard-"

"Don't right now. Everything is fine. Take Sweetpea for a run and drink some water."

"But Ge-"

"Not now, love."

Frank collapses to his knees as soon as the door shut.  _shit._

-

"You got fired."

Gerard nodded.

"Because of me-"

"Do you like clubs? Lets go dance."

"I don't think your in the right mind to be around alcohol."Frank whispered.

"Fine. I'm gonna go home to bed-"

"Talk to me. Stop."

"Talkings not gonna fucking fix anything. I lost my job. I've no fucking idea what i'm gonna do for money, I have like 2 months worth of savings then i'm screwed!"

Frank took a step away from him. 

"All because I couldn't resist the little punk!"

Frank let his knees give out, back sliding against the counter.

"We knew this was a bad idea! I haven't finished paying of my goddamn student loans and noone is ever going to hire me again!"

Frank covered his head with his arms, closing his eyes as he started to count. By the time he got to 30, the apartment was empty.

-

Gerard was back within an hour with a bunch of roses and a pizza. Pressing soft kisses to Franks swollen eyes.

"I will never regret falling in love with you. Worth more than what that job could ever pay. I'm sorry."

"Me too."Frank whispered, pressing his face into Gerards chest.

"Its a blessing in disguise. Now I can get back to art, okay? I was just stressed. I'm sorry, love. Shouldn't have took it out on my boy."

"Its okay Gee."

"Come on, lets cuddle and eat pizza until the sun comes up."

-

Frank walked into his apartment to suitcases by the door, pausing and swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Gee?"

"Lets run. I can't stay here anymore. Mikey took Sweetpea and will keep her safe. Lets go."

Frank let out a nod and grabbed the bag Gerard passed him, not even questioning it as he locked up. When the got to the airport, Gerard handed him his passport and boarding pass. 

"You don't have to. I know I sprung it-"

"I want to."

And Frank definelty did want to. He had Gerard by his side and thats all he ever really needs. 


End file.
